Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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