And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
