I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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