Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
