No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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