omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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