it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
