I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
