Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
