She is in my trunk
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Even my vagina gasped.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
