So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
