A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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