I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize