spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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