Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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