Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I sprained my soul last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
