Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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