We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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