Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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