Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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