sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
