JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
