I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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