I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't turn off my feet"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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