we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
