Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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