I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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