Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
