if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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