Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
