Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize