Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
