we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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