I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
