Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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