When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
