well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever