Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.