she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.