she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize