the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water