But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.