yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley