he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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