Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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