tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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