My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's never too late to be topless.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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