The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
