So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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