Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
