your room smells of hookers.
And success
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I love you. Go after that dick
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