We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
