When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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