is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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