he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
