i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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