I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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