You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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