Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
