i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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