dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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