I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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