Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
zippers are such a cool invention
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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