She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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