I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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