whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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